JIII's contemplations

"Some stories say Achilles' mother, the nymph known as Thetis, bathed him in the river Styx as a child and that the water of the river made him invulnerable on every part of his body except the heel by which his mother held him. There have been rumors that some of the bathtubs and kitchen sinks in which I was bathed as a child have had the same effect. However, while Achilles was hit in by an arrow from a rival warrior, I was attacked by a stealthier foe. Allow me to explain. Playing basketball at St. Francis Catholic Church on Wednesday night I was struck down, suffering what my Trinidadian-American doctor calls a traumatic rupture of the right Achilles tendon. At first I had believed that this was a mere coincidence. However, a young southern Baptist with a flare for the fanatic, convinced me to consider that this was yet another example of 'Catholic Thugs' trying to get back at the Protestants. So upon further reflection, I have come to the conclusion that my injury was not a mere accident but rather a harsh warning sent to the Anglican Communion for having dared to extend apostolic succession to a bunch of pesky Lutherans. It appears that for some unknown reason the Bishop Schori and the Srchbishop Williams have yet to take note of this harsh warning. I will keep everyone updated on my future musings and conspiracy theories, as well as my attempts to navigate the world as I approach surgery and consider post-surgery questions such as: How do I take a shower with a big cast covering my leg?, Can I get away with driving using my left foot?, What sort of Halloween costumes work well for a guy on crutches?, What jobs will an immobile anthropology major be eligible for?, If I can't drive with a cast, does this mean that I don't have to be a designated driver until Christmas?, etc."